Debunking Leadership Myths: The Realities of Effective Leadership

Most of us would say we’re familiar with what leadership gone objectively very wrong looks like, but how often are we disappointed in our leaders without being able to truly articulate why? As a leader yourself, do your good intentions frequently not reap the results you’d expected? Are misguided, sometimes unfair, ideas of leadership to blame?

10 Leadership Myths vs. the Leadership Realities

With role of leader becoming less physically visible and the pressures on teams increasingly varied, the ability to have internal certainty in who you are, where you’re going and how you’re getting there is the differentiator in influential and effective leadership.

This is difficult when it’s so easy for leaders to internalise the fundamental leadership myths that still linger throughout our communities, workplace cultures and personal ideals. On top of this, the growing demands of the job- which Humu research found to be 10x harder than they were before the pandemic- are running well-meaning leaders, and their confidence, down. Is it surprising that 1 in 5 managers would prefer not being people managers, given the choice?

This is a stark reality. But this is also the reality: when empowered with the right skillets and mindsets, leadership is one of the most demanding yet rewarding roles. To identify possible blind spots you may not know you or your people have, take a look at the outdated leadership myths still circling round the modern workplace:

1. Leadership Myth – Position Determines Leadership

Reality: A job title does not a leader make. Leadership skills can be developed in everyone, and leadership is something that everyone can do, no matter their position or job title. Someone can flex their leadership skills on a project, in a single meeting, conversation, or during a conflict situation. Leadership is a way of thinking and behaving, not a job title or position.

The move away from hierarchical structures towards flatter, faster, more centralised decision-making processes accelerated by the pandemic, has increased the opportunities  for individual contributors to lean into their influence.

2. Leadership Myth – Leadership Means Getting Others To Do as You Say

Reality: We like to think the days of authoritarian ‘do as I say, not as I do’ leadership are long gone, but it can so easily rear its head amidst the many modern stresses of the day to day. In fact, as Stephen M. R. Covey shares in his book Trust & Inspire, up to 90% organisations still operate under some paternalistic degree of ‘Command & Control’ style leadership.

Today and in the future, the only effective leaders will be the ones who extend trust first, relinquishing control and creating space so that others flourish. By trusting and believing in everyone, these leaders inspire employees who consistently offer their discretionary effort.

In other words, if you manage people as things to wield, they behave as such. They quite literally become less animated about what they do.

3. Leadership Myth – Leaders Are Born

Reality: What we find inspiring or commendable in leaders – qualities like intelligence, charisma and courage – are often not inherent talents. They are most likely hard-earned statuses that belie a history of persistence, perseverance, trial and error, resilience, learning from mistakes, growth and evolution over time. When we realise that, we realise that the extraordinary is achievable for us all.

In the words of Stephen R. Covey, our co-founder and author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People® :“Leadership as an innate or learned quality is a false dichotomy – leadership is a choice.”

4. Leadership Myth– Leaders Should Hold Others Accountable First

Reality: This is true, but it’s not what they should do first. What you should do first is hold yourself accountable. Get yourselfto expend energy and resources in the right places. How are you spending your time? Are you putting first things first? Have you set a vision your team want to follow? Are you effectively demonstrating what credibility and integrity looks like?

Accountability is where power and control meet responsibility- it’s the junction where leaders can either become autocratic or authentic. Guess which style yields the best results?

5. Leadership Myth – Leaders Have All the Answers

Reality: To be an effective leader, do you need to know more and be better than everyone else? No. Do you always have to be the hero? No. 

A leader is measured by the results they achieve through others, not just those they achieve on their own, which is commonly a difficult mindset to adjust to.  Technical skills are the wheelhouse of individual contributors, so great leaders are those with the humility and honesty to acknowledge and tap into the unique talent of their team members. In fact, now more than ever the marker of a great leader is the ability to hire those who are better educated, skilled, and more progressive than themselves… and then nurture, trust and stretch them into offering their discretionary effort. 

6. Leadership Myth – Leaders Must Be Extroverts

Reality: Introverts can make great leaders. In fact, the extroverted tendency to fill silences and lean into their ‘infectious energy’ can frequently have the opposite, even alienating, effect. 

 Skills like empathy, listening and critical thinking are essential for sensational leadership. Just as extroverts can work on these skills, introverts can develop and nurture certain characteristics that extroverts find come more naturally, like assertiveness. As with everything to do with people, balance and nuance are key.

7. Leadership Myth – Leadership Equals Management

Reality: The words may be used interchangeably, but management and leadership have different -yet both essential-  functions. Stephen R Covey said that “Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall.” Leaders determine the strategic direction and structure of a business, whilst managers implement and hone the processes

Another pivotal contribution to the leadership vs. management school of thought came from Harvard Business School Professor John Krotter in his 1990  article What Leaders Really Do, where he simply surmised: “Management is about coping with complexity. Leadership, by contrast, is about coping with change.”

Organisations who understand and embrace both the stability that management promotes and vision that leadership pioneers- whether that be on a team or company level- are the ones which thrive amidst uncertainty.

8. Leadership Myth – Leaders Must Always Put on an Optimistic Front

Reality: As researcher and New York Times best-seller Liz Wiseman explains in our solution Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Ignite Everyone’s Intelligence, even the best intentions can end up accidentally diminishing others. In her research Wiseman discovered that there are nine types of ‘Diminisher’, those who inadvertently shut down the best in people. One of them is The Optimist. This leader’s relentless can-do attitude and confidence in their team to overcome challenges, ends up downplaying how difficult things can be, dismissing valid struggles as trivial, and denying their version of how things are.

Instead, great leaders avoid defaulting to an up-beat attitude in the hope it will raise spirits, and seek to understand others’ position in order to express sincere interest in how they are finding a situation.

9. Leadership Myth  – Effective Leaders Don’t Show Vulnerability

Reality: There is great strength in honesty. Showing vulnerability, fallibility and the ability to own and then learn from mistakes is far more important to inspiring trust and loyalty than always ‘being right’. When leaders allow for what it means to be human, they foster an equitable and connected culture that takes creative risks, collaborates effectively and innovates faster.

On the other hand, if a company culture promotes the constant need to prove yourself, then leaders overcompensate by leaning into courage a little too hard. They mistakenly magnify their capacity, downplay problems and often lose the relatability and sensitivity that all great bosses have in common.

As the hyper-aware and emotionally open Gen Z carve out the future of work they wants to see, leaders who model and enable vulnerability will be the ones who make an impact.

10. Leadership Myth – Great leaders Are Always in the Spotlight 

Reality: Of course, there are times when leaders are front and centre of a business. And that’s often where they need to be – gardening inspiration and that undeterminable “presence” of a great leader. But leaders must also be agile and humble, able and eager to turn the spotlight on others. Read our blog, Why True Success Happens When You Lead From the Sidelines.